Dysphoria

The sea is blood creeping on my toes,
tears of pain washing me in agony.
The waves, so huge and strong,
fueling my incessant fear.

The sands beneath my feet are tiny shards of glass,

seeping through my veins, oh it really hurts.

The water, ragingly washing my feet is a trap,

bringing me progressive atrophy.

The wind is wailing, bellowing in my ears,

so loud that I wish to be deaf.

The sky -- a dark blanket, thick and intimidating

warning me of the brewing storm.

The moonlight is as hazy as the fog,

engulfing me as if it owns me.

In each step, gravity is pulling me closer,

the longer I stay, the harder it is to leave...

I don't belong here,

this isn't supposed to be my destination...

I may have gone astray,

how I reached this place, I don't know...

I am scared, perturbed and distressed,

still, it just happened so here I go.

But as spring ends into fall like nature dictates,

so shall this delusion.

I may have to stay longer, perhaps close to infinity,

that will drain my connection away.

Though I believe beyond the clouds,

there's a sun dozing temporarily.

So absorbed in its peaceful slumbering,

telling me to rest along.

I am so tired that I closed my eyes,

and just waited for the approaching redemption.

September 28, 2007

Fam Mam

10 AM Madness

The time of haunting has arrived,
ghouls and ghosts are stirred to leak out.
Imagery one wouldn't dream of having,
appearing in perpetual repetition.

Oh how I abhor this moment!
No impediment in recognizing it.
It manifests inevitably,
and yet I dream for it to evanesce.

Sometimes I'm confused with the definition of reality,
if there's such a thing, why is there oblivion?
Two faces of the coin that continues to thrive,
constant epithets in defining life.

I'm irrational I suppose,
for identifying it with intense delight.
Or is it the other way around?
For existence only makes sense when the unseen seems crucial.

Note: I wrote this during my 10 am vacant class. My mind is a total mess, so please excuse the absurdity of the theme. =p 



September 20, 2007
Fam Mam

Just Leave Me Alone

Waking up with a nightmare is such a bad start to your day,

washing it off won't help at all.

Getting through your destination is another story.

You're lucky if you arrive there whole.

You try to concentrate on sensible things but it seems futile,

the unfortunate events come flashing back into your mind.

You attempt to distract yourself with everything that seems considerable,

as expected, it didn't work... and you bet that nothing ever will...

Over and over it stalks your already chaotic mind,

What the hell shall you do?

You already tried everything, you've exhausted all your energies,

still, it clings on to you like it's already a part of you...

When will this ever end?

You're afraid of going to sleep tonight

as sure as the moon will rise, you're about to relive it again..

and the same thing will happen over and over...

You're very helpless, there's nothing you can do,

guess you should just wait for it to get tired of you.

But when? Until it has shattered every inch of you?

And you wake up one day not knowing "you"?

September 17, 2007

11:04am

Fam Mam

Nightfall

To the one for me, can you still hear me?
I've been craving for your voice that fills my emptiness...
If day couldn't do it, will the night compensate?
Waitin' and waitin', my eyes almost droppin...

Just before I submit myself to sleep,
I whispered my longings to the warm night air,
not because it serves as everybody's invisible ear,
but in the hope that my words reach you in your sleep... 



September 15, 2007
Fam Mam

In Memoriam

I must grieve,
for the good ol' days gone by,
where a dime is worth a dime,
and a smile begets a smile...

I shall sing,
in melancholious embrace,
for the glory of the past,
that refuses to linger...

I will bask myself,
in all those miracles,
still hoping that yet someday,
it will come to life again... 



September 15, 2007
Fam Mam